


How Many Ways Can a Heart Break

by d_aia



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: (temporary), Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Spoilers, Civil War Team Iron Man, Diplomacy, Fix-It for Tony, Gen, M/M, Not Steve Friendly, POV James "Rhodey" Rhodes, Physical Disability, Politics, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-13
Updated: 2016-05-13
Packaged: 2018-06-08 05:29:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6840799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/d_aia/pseuds/d_aia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>People were drooling after Tony's discovery as always, newspapers were toting his genius, and it took Tony less then four months to complete, so nothing new there. Everybody loved Tony again. Tony, on the other hand, was miserable. Nothing new there either.<br/>*</p>
<p>Rhodey's POV after the movie.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How Many Ways Can a Heart Break

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own the movie (and characters, locations, personal histories etc as are shown in it).This is the work of fanfiction.
> 
> WARNING: It's pro-Tony. Look in the end notes for details.
> 
> Note: Natasha is presented in Iron Man as 'Romanoff' or 'Romanov' by Fury. You can see it's spelled 'Romanoff' on imdb. Now, if she were keeping her Russian name, it should have been 'Romanova', but that's not how the other characters refer to her so I'm guessing that she anglicized her name... or something. Anyway, I wrote it 'Romanoff'.

“I am sorry.”

Rhodey turned slowly at the sound of Vision's voice.

“I am… _truly_ sorry,” continued Vision.

For a few moments they were both quiet.

“It’s not okay,” Rhodey finally said.  “I won’t pretend to understand what happened,” he continued slowly. “But I understand that it happens.” He shook his head. “I don’t know if that helps any.”

Vision nodded, poker face in place.

“Can you help me get to the couch?”

Vision smiled. “Certainly.”

*

Rhodey was on the couch, absolutely exhausted even though his legs didn’t even hurt. Paralysis was funny that way. He was reconsidering his stance on crawling everywhere.

Tony came in, and took a seat on the couch.

“How's it going, shmoopsie-poo?”

Rodney  groaned, but couldn’t suppress a smile.

“We got mail,” Tony said flippantly.

But Rhodey knew better. “Do I want to know what it says?”

Tony shrugged. “You probably should, but that’s not what I came here to tell you.”

“What’s that then?”

“We got a phone. It’s a flip phone, it offends my sensibilities.”

Rhodey sighed. “And you won’t trace the call for the same reason you’re not going after the rest of them.”

“Got it in one.”

Rhodey nodded. “And you need me to know about it in case something happens to you. How likely is that possibility, Tones?”

Tony gave a small, sad smile. “You never know.”

*

Rhodey was watching the news. He sighed when he heard footsteps on the stairs. Vison faded through the wall, and hovered. Literally. Probably his way of showing his worry.

“Going to the press conference, kids,” Tony shouted. “Don’t stay up.”

Rhodey swallowed his smile, and turned the TV sound off. “Come back soon!” he yelled.

“I’ll try, snuggle-bunny!” Tony cooed loudly before he was out the door.

“He is not well,” Vision said in the following silence. 

“No.”

Vision didn’t say anything more, just waited.

“Pepper left. His friends turned against him because he was trying to do what’s right. Romanoff betrayed him again, then when he pointed it out, she blamed it on his ego—even though he was acting according to many people's wishes and was trying to protect his legality-challenged friends. Steve chose to bring a violence to a communication problem that could potentially turn deadly if not navigated with care. He got the kids in the divorce too. Tony found out exactly how his parents died, and it wasn’t peaceful. People knew about it, and didn’t tell him. I can’t walk. And he blames himself for every one of those things. At this point, I don’t think it’s healthy to be well.”

“I can understand that. However—” Vision trailed off. “I believe a phone is ringing in Mr. Stark’s room.”

“Do we have to talk about privacy again?”

Vision gave him a dry look. “It is a flip phone. I thought you may want to know.”

Rhodey sighed, and glared at Vision. “Would you please get that from me?”

“Certainly.”

Vision returned quickly. Rhodey took the phone, thanked Vision, and answered it. He let the other person talk. Surprise, surprise it was Rogers.

“Tony…,” Rogers trailed off. “I heard what happened… I hoped that it meant you understood.”

Rhodey felt himself getting angry. “I have no idea what Tony understands or not.”

“Rhodes, I—”

Rhodey didn’t wait to find out what Rogers wanted to say. “But I think I know that you don’t understand. So, you heard that Tony heard a bastard say something insensitive about me, and he broke a wine glass. You thought that it somehow resembles the protective feelings you showed for your friend.”

“I was just—”

“What you choose not to see, was how it was handled. Witnesses came forward, and Tony's having a press conference. Even if he decked the guy, the asshole probably wouldn’t press charges because, though Tony's a controversial figure, he saved so many lives.”

“What are you saying?” Rogers asked quietly.

“That’s how you save your buddy's life,” Rhodey said somberly. “Get in front of a damn camera. Plead his case. The world loves you, you did the USO thing, and you have competent people to help you. It isn’t that hard.”

“I made a choice. I wasn’t going to let anybody get hurt,” Rogers declared.

“What am I then?”

There was silence for a few seconds.

“I-I didn’t mean… Vision did that. And, of course, I'm sorry. You knew the dangers.”

“That I could be injured while trying very hard not to hurt my friends—or even teammates—trying to obey the law, and hoping that the teammates don’t make anyone nervous enough to send a drone? No, that was not what I signed up for, but I still did it. And to say that Vision did that, when you could have prevented it all by holding a damn press conference... Were we supposed to ignore all the dead civilians? Why did you do it? Because Maximoff was being held pending an investigation? Like any civilian? Because you don’t want to account for your actions? Like any not-criminal and, even some criminals? Why are you so special?”

More silence.

“Listen, Rhodes—”

“No, you listen,” Rhodey snapped back. “You are lucky that someone sweeps up after you. That someone isn’t looking too carefully at the missing Avengers. Or tell where one of them has his house. The rest aren't all that careful either. That person may be spending a lot of his time deleting videos, and juggling a lot of people wanting a piece of them. You are lucky that he is looking after your victims, as he did every time you were all responsible, but only he paid. If it were Wilson in my place he would've done the same. Best treatment possible.”

Rhodey took a deep breath. “But you'll dismiss everything I say because I am injured and it’s only natural to feel anger. I don’t know what I'm saying, and I certainly don’t mean it. Yeah, well, before you believe that and forget every word I said, I want you to think about this for two seconds: Rogers, you can afford your principles because Tony exists.”

Rhodey slammed the phone closed and breathed deeply. He dropped his head in his hands. “That didn’t go well,” he said, voice muffled.

“Are you saying you did indeed speak in anger, and didn’t mean what you said?” Vision asked in a confused tone.

“I said it in anger, but I did mean what I said.” Rhodey swallowed. “My control is pretty shot right now. I shouldn’t... I feel like I was yelling at a kid. He _is_ really young. Not even thirty, if you don’t consider the time spent in the ice. I sometimes wonder…” He chuckled.

“Wonder…” Vision prompted.

Rhodey shrugged. “I wonder if it’s actually our fault for putting too much on him, for building him up. Making him something he isn’t, and maybe didn’t even want to be. I know that he's an adult, but he's so _young_.”

*

Rhodey started to slip. His legs were jelly. Numb jelly. Tony tried to help but that only ended up with them both in a heap on the floor.

“You’ve got sharp elbows,” Tony coughed.

Rhodey rolled his eyes. “I got to be patient. Be patient and at some point, with Tony's adjustments, I'll walk again,” he repeated for the fifth time that day.

Tony watched him for a few seconds. “Screw it, I'm going to build you a spine.”

“What?”

“Barnes has an arm, doesn’t he? Had, whatever. How hard could it be? He had it for years. What are we saying? Are we saying I’m not good enough to do what the HYDRA were doing at least twenty-five years ago?” Tony asked, mock insulted. “For shame.”

“I don’t think an arm has that much in common with a spine. And Tones, you aren’t a doctor or a biologist. I mean... Where would you start?”

“Between the reactor, the things I managed to steal from Dr. Cho, and the Alternate Memory Device, I know more than I ever wanted, honey bear. I'll thinker a bit. It’s gonna be fine.”

Rhodey tried not to feel hope, but it was useless. He knew the crazy things that Tony had build, and could build. If nothing else, it made his day a little less dark.

*

In the end, Rhodey had some sort of new material added to his vertebras and a few thousands nanobites in his spinal column. Walking was made a lot easier, and running had suddenly turned from a memory into a goal. People were drooling after Tony's discovery as always, newspapers were toting his genius, and it took Tony less then four months to complete, so nothing new there. Everybody loved Tony again. Tony, on the other hand, was miserable. Nothing new there either.

*

Rhodey opened the door to the compound. He smiled widely. Mostly because it felt good to walk.

“Mr. Parker,” Rhodey nodded. “Come in.”

“Hi.” Parker lifted a hand in a awkward wave. “I don’t know why I’m here.”

“It happens with Tony,” Rhodey said amused. Maybe he commiserated a little, but when he’d been around Tony for so long, it seemed normal.

“So, is Mr. Stark going to give me another chance?”

Rhodey frowned. “What are you talking about?”

“He gave me a task and I didn’t impress,” Peter said sadly. He fidgeted. “That grant could really help, so if there’s anything that I can do…”

“If he promised you anything, you have it. He’d never dangle a grant in front of your face like that.”  

Parker slumped in relief. “Why did he call me here?”

The sound of elevator doors opening could be heard, followed by Tony's voice.

“Who said I wasn’t impressed? I was impressed.” Tony smiled and gestured toward the sofa. “I was also worried that I’d gotten you killed. That’s not the happiest of feelings.”

“Oh…” Peter sat, looking a little lost. “Then why am I here?”

“We have something to discuss,” Tony said, explaining nothing in the process.

Rhodey took over. “It’s about the Sokovia Accords. We want you to know your options, since you've been seen around the city.”

“That’s the register law, isn’t it?” Parker squinted. “The one that Captain America was against? With the panel?”

Rhodey nodded. “It is.”

“I have to sign somewhere?” Parker asked, scared. “And isn't this a lot like World War II, with the Nazis?”

Rhodey sighed. “The law is an answer to a new problem, like all the laws before it. It came about because there were people running around unchecked who had the power to decimate thousands. In fact, it actually did end up with innocent people getting killed. This isn’t politics jumping the gun and going after people, nor is it about the government thinking that different is wrong, this is people trying to make the best out of a really bad situation. This is governments that want a say in protecting their citizens.”

“But like with most things, there’s another side to this,” Tony said somberly. “It means that they decide whether or not they want heroes to intervene. If you sign this, you are going to have to deal with people, where before you didn’t answer to anyone. Some of those people may be difficult, and some may be downright impossible. You are going to have to make your case when it shouldn’t be a question. Sometimes, even after all that, you might not get approval, and you're going to have to step back.”

“On the other hand, you won’t be held liable for any damages,” Rhodey adds.

“But any human lives, you'll still have to explain yourself and go to jail if the explanation is not good enough.”

Passing his hand through his hair, Parker seemed lost.

“You don’t have to decide now,” Rhodey soothed.

“Or at all. You can do the safe thing and give it up altogether,” Tony said, gesturing wildly.

“Yeah, right,” Parker snorted. “But why do I have to be the one to explain things to the UN Panel? Plus, they aren’t going to be around every time I go after a mugger.”

“You won’t. I'm responsible for the Avengers, and if something happens to me, Rhodey is.” Tony helpfully pointed Rhodey out. “You, however, are going to have to explain to the NYPD. There’s a liaison, and a communication device I made, and a whole agreement was negotiated.”

“Basically, you have to say where you are, what’s happening, and ask for backup,” Tony said with a warning look. “You'll wait for a green light when you can, the answer should never take more than thirty seconds. If the time passes and you don’t have the answer you can make a judgment call. There are exceptions where you can act if there’s no time, and exceptions where you have to wait longer for an answer. We'll get through those later.”

Parker seemed overwhelmed, but he managed a nod. “Okay, okay, that seems fair so far. But Mr. Stark, nobody knows who I am. Except you all. And I’d like to keep it that way.”

“Nobody will know. Because you were a minor, I negotiated anonymity. Write ‘Spiderman’,” Tony dismissed.

Parker frowned. “I'm not a minor anymore, though.”

“You were at the time,” Tony smirked. “That was all I needed.”

Parker's hero worship jumped about fifty levels. “But won’t they be able to recognize my writing?”

“Who's ‘they’?” Rhodey asked. “And anyway if ‘they’ had the capabilities to do that, they'd sooner recognize you by your voice.”

“If I sign the Accords, won’t I be an Avenger?”

“You will.” Rhodey smiled wryly.

“Only if you remember to ask for backup and stay out of the way,” Tony said and narrowed his eyes.

This was the second kid Tony was having paternal feelings towards. Rhodey smiled. Tony seemed to gather strays.

“Will I get to come here sometimes?” Parker asked excitedly.

*

“Tones?” Rhodey asked. He thought he could see a silhouette. “Friday, lights please.”

Tony was staring into the night.

“Are you okay?”

Tony straightened. “What if I told you there's a baddie out there without an off switch?” He chuckled bitterly.

“What?” Rhodey asked, taken aback.

“There and back again, I guess.”

*

With a sob, Rhodey fell down. First on his knees, then on his back. He felt so… much, it almost hurt.

The sound of broken glass filtered through Rhodey's mind, but he ignored it.

“Sugarplum?!”

Rhodey sobbed harder at the sound of Tony's voice.

“Talk to me,” Tony pleaded.

“I ca—” Rhodey took a deep breath, and tried again. “I can run, Tony. I can _run_.”

Tony chuckled, but soon enough his chuckles turned into laughter and before Rhodey knew it, Tony was laughing hysterically. Which made Rhodey laugh. And soon enough, they both on their backs, in the grass, laughing like children.

*

Rhodey asked Friday to turn on the TV. He saw Loki strangling a civilian-clad Tony. Rhodey sighed – drama queens. He grabbed the phone to contact his liaison.

“Lieutenant Colonel Rhodes speaking, I request authorization for a rescue mission, in New York City, New York, United States of America.”

He suited up. On TV, Loki was warning everybody that a ‘war is imminent’. Rhodey hoped Tony knew what he was doing.

“Why isn’t Mr. Stark talking to us?” the liaison asked.

“Vision, we're on standby. Get Spiderman. Let’s go.” Rhodey redirected his attention to the call, which Friday had already transferred to his comm. “I am the one talking to you because Mr. Stark is the one that needs rescuing.”

“I don’t see how that qualifies for a rescue mission,” the liaison said.

Both Vision and Rhodey were on their way.

“The person who holds Mr. Stark hostage, Loki, is an alien, and as such needs specialized attention,” Rhodey said through his teeth. “If you are near a TV you would understand the urgency of the matter. I need approval.”

“The panel will convene in 20 minutes.”

They could see Loki and Tony.

“There’s no tim—”

Rhodey was interrupted by Tony unleashing a torrent of repulsor fire into Loki's abdomen. He had his nifty watch then. That was good. Until Loki plunged a knife in Tony's chest. They both tumbled backwards into a portal and we’re gone.

Spiderman gasped, and there was another indrawn breath from Rhodey's comm. Vision landed suddenly. Spiderman kept shaking his head as if by doing that often enough he’d un-see the whole thing. And Rhodey, he saw his friend disappearing with someone nobody trusted. Damn it all.

“Lieutenant Colonel Rhodes reports that Iron Man is MIA.”

Rhodey noticed the flashes first. There were cameras on them, just as Tony had predicted. They made the news. Now, to see if Rhodey could swing it as planned.

*

“How do you feel about the decision, Lt. Col. Rhodes?” asked a reporter.

“There are some things I think and some I know about the situation. I think that we should have a way to act in emergencies. I think that we should be automatically dispatched when aliens are involved. I think that this shouldn’t happen to anybody else. I _know_ that things have got to change. Today, the UN panel agreed with me. That makes me content. It's what Tony would have wanted. Thank you.”

*

Rhodey looked at the phone. He watched it ring. It almost buzzed it’s way off the table until finally Rhodey answered it.

“What is it that you want?” Rhodey asked.

“… To say I'm sorry,” Rogers said quietly.

Rhodey keep silent for a long moment. “I’m sorry too.”

“For Tony?”

“What else?”

“I can see why you were friends,” Rogers said, and a smile was audible in his voice.

“We are friends because he makes an adorable socially-challenged fifteen year old, who doesn’t care about race. Before I knew it, the little shit had grown on me.”

“How old were you?”

“Eighteen,” Rhodey said with a fond smile. “We were at MIT.”

“You've been friends a long time.”

“Longer than not,” Rhodey agreed.

“Wasn’t he a little young for college?”

“You may have noticed, he's a genius.”

They both chuckled softly.

“I saw what happened with the panel,” Rogers said. “Congratulations.”

“The whole thing was planned ahead, Tony was just waiting for the right time.”

“Why didn’t he negotiate it yet?” 

“No political capital.”

“What?” Rogers asked bewildered.

“When you negotiate, you have to be in the position for it, like especially good public opinion or having made them happy in some way. Tony didn’t have either. It would have been voted down, or it would have been changed to hell and back. He chose to wait.”

“He couldn’t negotiate because he was the public face on the target that the Accords law painted, and he hadn’t caught any of the missing Avengers.” Rogers at least sounded regretful. “Now he's dead.”

“He’s not dead.”

“I thought that—”

“Tony’s made of tougher stuff than that. That’s what they said about him when he first disappeared in Afghanistan. I told Pepper this too. He made it out then. He'll make it our now.”

Rogers sighed. “Rhodes…”

“He’s not on Earth right now, but he'll show. Look for the big explosion,” Rhodey said. He realized he was breathing hard. Harder then he should have, if he'd been convinced.

“I saw you walking,” Rogers said changing the subject.

“Tony built a thing.”

Rhodey could barely make out Rogers’ whispered ‘dammit.’

Then a new, unwelcome voice sounded.

“Are you sure that Stark was kidnapped?” Romanoff asked.

Rhodey respected spies. They did the job that nobody else wanted, but needed to be done. A good spy was hard to find. They needed special training added to the skills that are mostly picked up by the person. Not everyone could handle the training, and even if they did, that still didn’t guarantee a good one. Romanoff was such a spy, and Rhodey respected her, no discussion. He was indifferent to her personally.

But Rhodey didn’t like how her job fell in such a manner that she always was in the position to fuck Tony over and be the moral superior. The first time was shrouded in guilt for Rhodey, he should have paid better attention to Tony. The second time, he was laid up. But Tony could be persuaded to tell JARVIS and FRIDAY to share. Long story short, he really didn’t like Romanoff.

“Great, I’m on speaker. Thanks for that.” Rhodey sighed. “You know Romanoff, when you have a hammer, everything looks like nail. It would certainly explain a lot… but Tony’s not the double agent here. Or if you like it better, the spy.”

“You jumped quickly to personal attacks,” Romanoff said calmly. “Some might say that you are getting defensive.”

Rhodey’s lips curled a bit at the corners. Both in disgust and in victory. “You prefer the ‘enough noose to strangle themselves with,’ method. I've got twenty years experience in mediating with companies and not that sort of ego for that to work. I’ve said all I need to say. Play your game somewhere else.”

“Well, _I_ don’t understand,” Rogers said, reminding Rhodey of how many things he didn’t know. “Would someone please explain it to me?”

“Captain…,” T'Challa began with a sigh.

“Your Majesty,” Rhodey said wryly.

“Yes, we are both doing something illegal, so noted,” T'Challa said, unimpressed.

Rhodey snorted. “If you think that’s all I inferred, I'm changing my opinion about you.”

“I am aware of the unstable ground under my feet, but I am also confident that I have honorable friends to catch me if I stumble and fall,” T'Challa declared.

Rogers made a confused noise. “What just happened?”

“Rhodey was warning T'Challa that many people want Wakanda's vibranium, and that his presence here would allow for an incursion into his country. T'Challa said that he was aware of the risks and that he trusted Rhodey,” Romanoff summarized.

“And what you said about Tony?” Rogers asked, confused and… overwhelmed?

Both Romanoff and Rhodey kept quiet.

“Natasha suggested An—Tony was working with Loki, James caught it and said that Tony wasn’t the type. Under the guise of an insult directed at Natasha, James also said that Tony is neither a traitor – as some understand double-agents – nor a spy. Natasha tried to dig further, but James had said enough. Presumably, we are meant to take all the information we need from what was already discussed. Furthermore, he advises us to refocus our investigation somewhere else,” explained T’Challa.

“All this from that?!” Rogers sounded frustrated. “Where did you learn all that? … Is this politics?”

“Yes,” chorused there voices.

Rogers chuckled, “The new fistfights?”

“Both still exist, nothing totally new here. Maybe, we know a little better how much public perception matters,” Rhodey offered. “Which makes me ask, does your offer to Tony extend to me?”

“Of course it does,” Rogers answered firmly.

And that was it – job done.

*

Thor had come to get them. He was talking about a war, and about a guy, Thanos, who can’t be killed. He took them to Asgard’s throne room. There were all called: the Avengers, the Guardians of the Galaxy, Thor's friends, and all the superheroes that came up in the mean time. Banner was already there.

Gold was also there, everywhere Rhodey looked. The room was large, surprisingly empty, and gold. The throne was gold and they were all seated at a great, golden round table. The seats were gold too. But the drapes, the drapes were red.

The big, _golden_ door opened. Somebody… new entered. Rhodey blinked. It wasn’t someone new. Scarred, blue skinned, scarlet-eyed, bare-chested, short skirt and fur wearing,  as he may be, but Rhodey would recognize Loki anywhere.

“What is doing here?” Rogers asked.

Loki mockingly repeated, “What is _he_ doing here?” He pretended to think it over. “Oh, right, there is war coming. Hmm…”

Barton wasn’t impressed. “And you're useful?”

“I am certainly more useful than you,” Loki said with a borderline seductive voice. “You see, I am gathering allies, not further mudding the waters.”

“I am sure that it’s exactly what you’re doing,” Romanoff observed neutrally.

Loki had the same bored voice. “I am afraid that being out of your leash has not wonders for your intellect. Tell me, fall into any traps lately while exercising your new freedom?”

“You are superb as always at redirecting attention,” Romanoff said sweetly.

“So are you,” Loki fired back playfully.

Romanoff scowled, and was about to open her mouth to speak, when Loki continued going around the table.

“You are the official leader of the Avengers,” Loki said once he came near Rhodey. “It is an honor to meet you.”

“Honor pending,” Rhodey warned.

Loki smirked. “Where is he?”

“Not back yet,” Sif dismissed.

Loki looked a bit concerned. He turned on his heel. “Probably I should go check. We do that for those who should have been back _two days_ ago.”

At Loki’s words, the Asgardians' eyes widened, and they scrambled after him.

But before Loki touched the door, Tony came in. He had a skirt, longer than Loki's – and there may have been pants under there, but this way of describing it was hilarious – and bare-chested except for two belts with throwing knives covering him a little in an X. He also had long sleeves with gloves. There was a glow coming from them, that might have come from repulsors. And if Rhodey was not mistaken, Tony looked a decade younger.

“Worried, Lolo?” Tony asked cheekily, as he breezed into the room, the door opening with a bang.

“Must you call me these impertinent names?”

Loki seemed fondly exasperated. When he saw Tony shiver, Loki waved his hand lazily and the fur on his shoulders transferred to Tony's. Tony gave a small, grateful smile, but Loki continued to act like nothing happened. Yeah, Rhodey was not fooled.

The noise level rose as the Avengers responded to Tony's return and all the others were confused by the reaction.

“Okay, okay, can I talk to the Avengers, please?” Tony asked everybody else.

Thor stepped up to Tony. “Have you achieved success in Muspelheim?”

“I have,” Tony confirmed. “The dwarfs, though, are getting shaky. I think I have to build them something.”

“As you say,” Thor agreed, and went back to his place.

Ah, yes, Thor was an Avenger.

“Did you try to run other planets when it didn’t work with Earth?” Romanoff asked. Always trying to find out more by stirring the pot.

Tony smirked. “One, that sounds mean. Two, they are _allies_ , if you are unclear on the word, you should look it up _._ And three, that assumes that it didn’t work with Earth.”

A moment of silence where people were processing all that was said. Rhodey helpfully waved, which didn’t seem to make it any clearer. Finally, Romanoff groaned and snapped the people out of the pensive funk.

“Rhodes did everything that needed accomplished with the political capital from To—Stark’s disappearance,” Rogers said excited.

Loki, who had remained in the room for whatever reason, made the most hilarious how-do-you-exist face. Tony snorted when he saw it. And looking at them, Thor smiled indulgently.

Rhodey made eye contact with Thor, there were questions that needed answering. In response to Rhodey's raised eyebrow, Thor confirmed with a short nod. Rhodey blinked – that settled it.

“There was so much I was going to say,” Tony began. “I'd let out a flood of arguments in the hope that one or two would stick. For example, ‘accepting responsibility,’ means ‘accepting the law,’ because it was made as a result of our actions. Maybe I'd say how odd it was that few of you wanted to listen to what 117 countries wanted, but almost everyone was ready to tell me what my problem was for agreeing to live within their bounds. Maybe I'd say something about what being a ‘futurist,’ was and that it assumes that I'd always be able to make predictions about future events that everyone was free to ignore, but quick to throw on my back as soon as they came true. And let's not forget the shining jewel in my crown: that your arguments are identical to those people that populate our prisons, criminals, use. Because the law is always against them, they are always pushed into a corner, and there was never any other way. Most of them will, at one point or another, find somebody else to blame.”

Tony let that settle, while Barton looked at him defiance written all over his face.

“That’s the difference, I think. I am used to assuming responsibility for my actions. I did before. And it was hard. It cost me, both financially and my pride. But I did it anyway, and I will do it again. Rhodey – partly my fault. Was I going to kill Barnes? Don’t know, probably. I mean I just saw my parents being murdered in cold blood. Did I expect to get away with it? No. It never occurred to that I might. I’m different from the prisoners because things don’t happen to me without me trying to somehow contain the situation… to get ahead of it, under it, through it.  I will try anything, I will make no excuses for what I am, I will accept the consequences and I won’t say I'm some Saint at any point.”

Maximoff opened her mouth about to say something when Rogers touched her arm. He gently shook his head. She closed it.

“You either do not understand how the system works, or you don’t want to understand,” Tony continued strongly. “Somewhere along the way I realized that I can’t change _your fucking minds_. I can’t put all my experiences in a bowl, mix them with the way I think, bake them with all my desperation for you _to understand_ , and then force you to eat.

“I was: a, angry, because you _don’t listen_ , and you tore down what I was desperately trying to save; and b, guilty – for Rhodey, for not managing to convince you in time, and for somehow not realizing that we were being played.” Tony sighed. “I'm not anymore – the anger has found a new target and the guilt turned neatly into regret. The work I've done in the last two years was to protect Earth from the biggest madman yet. It’s…delicate. Lots of moving parts. I need to concentrate. When I look at you now, I feel… tired _._ Maybe it’s the helplessness, maybe that’s how I cope with the ‘immovable object vs. unstoppable force’ conundrum. Cap, you squared your jaw and planted your feet, and I blew past trying to get you to move. But I guess this time, the object won. Maybe it was because it had a very simple job, stay put, and it did that job brilliantly. Maybe I'm not the unstoppable force, after all.”

Rogers looked like he would be prefer to do anything else than meet Tony's eyes, but he did it anyway.

Tony took a deep breath. “So be angry at me, pity me, be disappointed, I don’t care. I look at you and _I'm so tired._ No, I don’t want to be your enemy, and I don’t want to be your friend. I have enough knives in my back to be a pincushion. Let others have their turn. I have found a new immovable object, and I’m going to try again, _and again_ , as long as I live. And then I’m going to try some more. I need my anger, my desire to protect, my chin up, my persistence, my brain, and my resourcefulness. ‘Avenger’ is a title I don’t hold anymore. For good or bad, I'm past that stage. We are nothing less and nothing more than allies. Let’s get to moving the Purple Boulder, heroes.”

Silence followed. The tension in the room was thick. Rhodey had no idea what the others were thinking. Things either took off after that speech, or they failed miserably. Rhodey clenched his jaw.

Turning slightly to his left – towards Rhodey – Tony opened his mouth. The room seemed to be holding their breaths. Rhodey could almost hear the time stop.

“How’s it going, snookums?”

Rhodey rolled his eyes. He knew he did it fondly. What the hell, this is Tony! He had built the situation himself. Obviously, it was going to work. There was no doubt in Rhodey’s mind.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello darlings! I was amazed by how much happens to Tony in the space of two hours and a half. I wrote a little something to reflect my post-civil war feelings and I thought I'd share it with those of you that agree. It is very much pro-Tony, and while I can see why Steve went about things the way he did, I don't agree with him. Not because he's being selfish (c'mon, he cares about his Bucky and I refuse to blame him for being 'selfish'), but because he's not smart about it. Nobody needs to have the same opinions as me, nor are any of you obliged to agree with me. 
> 
> (And if you got here by reading:) Thank you for reading! If you want to comment (or just talk to me) you can do it here or on my [tumblr](http://e-alexandrescu.tumblr.com/).


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